Posted July 21, 2010 at 1:35pm
I guess I’ll miss these past couple of months, and the man who’d come into my work and sing this to me, and my Lost in Translation-type of thing I had, the secret little situations and experiences and renegades..the rooftops, the skyline,the stoops, the late night runs across the Williamsburg Bridge. I took it all in, I appreciated it, and I’m over it.
Posted July 2, 2010 at 3:07am
So, haven’t updated this in quite some time. The past couple months I’ve been living in Brooklyn..in a room the size of my closet without a wall or door. With a majority of my belongings crammed under a tiny loft bed. Last Friday I came to the realization that I’m just not made for this lifestyle. Not even the living situation, just the atmosphere of the city. Not for me. I like fresh air and waterfalls and mountains and secret places to swim and country roads in the summer. I just couldn’t adjust. Everyone I talked to said they hated their first year, but I don’t see my opinion changing. Why pay so much to live in a place you’re not comfortable and not happy? Doesn’t make any sense at all to me. I discovered my hatred for the city last Friday while getting off my shift at the cafe in Greenpoint. I was running on no sleep, which I tend to do quite often, and had worked a good 8 hours. I was heading toward the train, a couple blocks away and it was so unbearably hot outside I couldn’t take it. I got so irritated, and looked to my right to see a woman fixing her hair, exposing her hairy bushy armpit. Everything was disgusting me. A man was lying on a bench coughing, thrusting the dirty saliva from his rotten mouth onto the pavement in front of me. The air was sticky muggy and gross, I could see a cloud rising from the subway grate. Everything and everyone was making me sick and I just wanted to be home so bad. This is some shit I wouldn’t have to see or worry about back home..and if I was that unbearably hot, I could easily be to a swimming spot in minutes. Anyway, I hopped on the train and headed home to pack.
I arrived “home” and packed up all my shit, then to Reggie’s to pack up what I had there. Amanda drove me to the train in Nelson’s car because I let Aiden use my metrocard. I was running late and had a 30lb+ bag of my stuff. I arrived at Penn Station at 12:22pm and my bus was supposed to leave at 12:20. I ran a good couple of blocks, smashing people with my huge bag, sweating profusely in the disgusting New York City air, practically in tears thinking I missed my bus. Thank god it was running late, I was longing for the fresh Upstate air and trips to the reservoir in Ithaca. This was the moment I decided it was entirely necessary for me to move back home. “CNY girl at <3”.
Posted July 2, 2010 at 2:49am
Tonight I had
a bit of a nervous breakdown. I was running on three hours of sleep, mind you. There was a surprise party for Chris and a whole mix of people attended. I got to thinking about how much things have changed and it got to me. I wish I was still as close with one of my dearest friends as I once was.I wish they’d realize how much their significant other blows, and I wish the fact that this person blows didn’t create an awkward tension between my friend and I. I could really use this person to vent to. After the party, we went to Tyler’s and watched a video from just a year and a half ago. I can’t get over how entirely different things were. Went to my mom’s only to find a car in the driveway, I didn’t even want to know who’s it was. Went to my dad’s only to find an empty house.. and sort of just lost it while driving back to Auburn. I was thinking about all that’s due for my art class in just a few hours, the fact that I have a four hour art class in just a few hours and I’m running on three hours of sleep from last night, finals, online history tests, english papers, the fact that I’m moving in two weeks and haven’t even gotten started on my foot long to-do list, and the fact that I have a foot long to-do list. So I called the only person I could think of that would thoroughly listen to all I have to rant and rave about at 2:30AM. Of course, the second they got in my car, I was at ease. And after I was done venting, they didn’t have to lie and tell me anything to make me feel better, they just had to give me a reality check and complain right back. I don’t know what I’ll do without having this person to drive over to at a moment’s notice.
Posted May 2, 2010 at 5:24am
